Chained Soul
by Scribe of Turesa
Summary: PARALLE/SEQUEL STORY Raph's story about the time when he was a slave has been told. Now, it's Leo's turn...will the famiy be able to face what he tells them?
1. Chapter 1: Attempt at Peace

**Disclaimer:****Ok…um…only OCs and the Plot**

**Ok This Story is a Parallel to **_**The Chains and the Heart**_**it can be read as a prequel and a sequel. A Parallel story is essentially the same story with parts of the original elaborated on and is often written in the POV of another character so that insights are better understood. A parallel often has elaborations on areas that were hardly mentioned or never discussed in the original book.**

**Ok here we go.**

**This story is in Leo's POV.**

****Here is the first Chapter to get your feet wet the rest will be up in February****

**Chapter 1: Attempt at Peace**

I drop down onto the roof from the higher one I was just on. I've been looking for Raph all night.

Why?

Because he stormed out of the lair after Master Splinter announced me as Clan Leader, announced that he was stepping down and I would take his place at the head of the Clan.

Raph was furious, he said he would never bow to his own brother.

Everything I trained for the joy of seeing it come to light…was shattered when Raph refused my leadership and stormed out.

I may not be as close to my brothers as they are to each other…but I hoped…that they would at least respect me. All the forced training sessions, all the strict codes, all my hopes, and then…their hate.

Don and Mike shrugged it off…but Raph…just his laughter and refusal to even consider me…it hurt.

I glance around as I stop and spot him.

Here goes nothing.

I slowly walk toward him, reach out to touch his shoulder and find myself twisting so I land on my feet.

He lashes out, full on attack…like I'm an enemy.

I doge and frantically attempt to talk to him.

Every word I say is ignored, every plea, then he lands a blow that knocks me off my feet.

I look up into his amber eyes and realize…I might just die tonight.

Before I can move he starts kicking me, in the head, the plastron, the sides. I struggle to move away and get up but I can't, every kick leaves me stunned.

He ignores my offer of giving him the leadership, he laughs when I gasp it out, calls me weak.

He kicks me in the head, hard, everything spins.

Then he kneels down and grabs my throat. It takes me a second to realize what he's going to do, then, I panic.

"Raph!" I gasp out.

His grip tightens and I feel my air supply cut off.

I gag and kick out, gripping his hands as I fight to remove them.

"Please…Raphie," I manage.

His hold tightens and he looks away.

My muscles quake and I struggle to breathe.

He lifts me by my neck and slams my head down, once, twice, three times.

My hands fall to my sides as I fight to find clear thought again.

I can't breathe.

I struggle, hands trying to pull his off of my neck, kicking out weakly.

I can't take this much longer.

My own brother is going to kill me.

I lay gasping as he looks away, squeezing all the harder.

Desperate, I reach upward, toward him, my hand brushes his face and he looks at me.

His eyes narrow and he squeezes tighter.

I choke, my fingers of my left hand clutching his mask as my right hand fumbles at my throat.

He slams my head down again.

My body shudders.

I can't breathe.

I feel my grip loosening and slowly my hand falls to my side. My other hand fumbles with his, one last attempt to save myself.

He slams my head back again and my other hand hits the roof.

Everything starts to go black and with everything I have left in me I plea with my eyes, beg him, to stop.

He squeezes harder and leans forward.

"Go to hell," he spits, "you b******."

My body shudders and I feel my heart shatter.

He hates me…

Finally I pass out, I don't have to see the hate in his eyes anymore. All I can hope is that he'll take care of our brothers…of our father.

I can't breathe.

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Reviews Please?

Sorry for how short it is…but the others will be longer.


	2. Chapter 2: Shattered Heart

**Chapter 2: Shattered Heart**

I wake up cold, the rain washing the blood from my battered body. I shiver as I start to move.

Raph is gone, I don't think I could've stood it if he'd still been here though.

Shivering I drag my bruised legs close as I struggle to get warm.

I don't know how long I lay there, shivering, bleeding, cold.

I move slowly though, once I decide to.

My body screams protest, every breath I take is agony. I stagger to my feet and stumble toward the fire escape. I huddle on one of the platforms, shivering in the cold.

I feel the cold glass against my forehead and whimper as a flash of lightening leaves me cringing.

My throat is raw, every breath feels like I'm inhaling glass.

The tears start not long after that, the agony of Raph's hate tearing my heart apart, mangling it as much as my body.

The window opens and I nearly fall through.

"Leo," I hear.

I force my swollen eye lids open and struggle to see.

"Oh my gosh…on Leo who did this to you?" she whispers…April…it's April. How did I get here? I don't remember…

I drift in and out, vaguely aware of the fact that I am being cared for, that my mangled body is being bandaged.

I feel something pressed to my lips and struggle to swallow, it hurts too much.

When I finally get the strength to wake up, I find myself on April's couch, she's talking to someone on the phone.

I sit up and look around…I'm alone…my brothers aren't here.

The pain of that knowledge rips me apart. I stagger to my feet and move toward the window.

"LEO!" I hear before I'm out and staggering up the fire escape.

They hate me…they hate me…Raph took my offer…I can never go home…I can never go home…

I don't know how long I run, how long I wander, but hunger finally wins out on me and I find myself outside the lair.

Hoping, praying that Raph will at least let me eat before he drives me away. That maybe he'll let me gather up some of my things.

I close my eyes and manage to get the door open.

"LEO!" I hear someone shout, seconds later hands catch me as I sink toward the ground.

Everything goes dark.

"…he…ok?"

"….sick….Mikey…he…eaten…."

"Will…he….alright?"

I catch snatches of their conversation and shiver from the cold of my body.

I struggle to curl tight and hands stop me.

"Shhh, just rest," I hear…its Don.

Raph must've let me stay long enough to get better.

I cringe when I hear a scraping sound.

"Shhh," I hear, a hand rubs my carapace…its my father…

When I finally wake up, I'm alone in the medical lab. I slowly rise to my feet and stagger toward my room, no one else is up.

I freeze when I see Raph's closed door I have to walk past it to get to my room. I move quickly, silently and then reach my room and slip in.

I gather up a few things and freeze as I hear my door creak open. My hands tighten around the bundle I'm holding.

Fear makes my heart race.

"Leonardo?" Its my father, "what are you doing? Are you going to find Raphael?"

He never came home? He didn't take my offer?

"Leonardo," it's an order.

I flinch and turn slowly around.

He did the worst thing he could've done to me…he left me to my father's rage.

The slaps come fast, too fast for me to react.

I'm sobbing, clutching his robes and begging him to forgive me.

He presses my head against him.

"You will leave…and you will not come back without Raphael. Am I clear?" he whispers.

I nod.

"Swear it," he orders.

"I swear," I croak out, he steps back and walks out of my door.

I sit there and weep, heart broken and utterly lost.

I drag my things to me and get up.

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	3. Chapter 3: Cold and Hunger

**Chapter 3: Cold and Hunger**

I've been searching for Raph in New York for about a week now, winter is setting in and I'm freezing. At night I've been curling up by people's chimney's for warmth. It isn't much, but its better than nothing.

I'm hungry…I've been living off of scraps out of garbage cans.

There's been no sign of Raph anywhere. The fact that I can't go home without him reminds me of how much I have to seek him out. Makes me push myself harder to find him, I don't sleep long.

What if he runs by me while I'm asleep?

I have to keep looking.

I huddle up for a few hours of needed sleep and wrap my arms around my legs as I press against the chimney.

I'm so tired.

Its dawn by the time I wake…the morning sun's rays are enough to wake me even as tired as I am.

I've only slept for an hour. I sit up and start moving toward a more sheltered spot to rest. I can't search in the day, someone might see me.

I find a new spot in an abandoned apartment building. Its drafty and every board creeks as I walk, but all the same its shelter against the worst of the cold. I huddle up in a corner and let my eye lids slide closed.

I jerk awake as I hear boards creaking. My eyes flick around and stop on a patch of red cloth.

Raph.

Is he here?

I slowly sit up and look around.

Voices make me freeze or more like…what they're saying.

"The ones that hang around here are people no one will miss," I hear someone say.

My eyes widen and I look back at Raph's mask.

No…where is he?

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	4. Chapter 4:Feeble Hope

**Chapter 4: Feeble Hope**

I move slowly and grab the torn mask.

It is Raph's…

I cradle it and wonder if he cast it aside or if someone took it off him.

Then I remember the fight on the roof…he must've thrown it away…my heart breaks again.

I want my family whole again…one again. Even if it means I step down from the leadership role I've worked for my whole life. I'd do it...it'd give it all up…just to have my family together.

I'd stay in the shadows…I'd fade out…I'd give up everything.

I just want my family whole.

I feel the silk in my hand and remember what those men said. _The kind we find here aren't missed_.

I have to find him.

I make my shaking body move and slowly creep toward the voices. I'm cold instantly and start shivering, it's all I can do to stop myself from letting my teeth chatter.

"How much you think we'll get off of that thing we caught last night?" I hear a man ask as they start heading out of the building.

"Oh…from an Earthen slave port?" the other man laughs, "at least a million."

"Sounds good to me," the first says.

I realize that they are talking about Raph…I grip the mask in my hand and scramble after them, frantically trying to stay quiet.

I'm coming Raph…please…let me help you.

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Sorry for the short chapter…the others will be longer.


	5. Chapter 5:Trying to Follow

**Payton-yes i would love it if you would do the artwork for these! Sorry i meant to reply but spaced it...oh the curses of an active imagination...**

****Sorry everyone but until i get a break from my crazy shedule, i will be updating this twice a week from now on, next chapter will be on Monday**

**Chapter 5: Trying to Follow**

I managed to find where Raph is. I've stowed away in their star cruiser by the slaves. I'm up in the ducting.

I can hear Raph cussing and fighting his bonds but I can't get to him. I'm sick, running a fever and shivering badly. At least I've found an area where the slavers hopefully won't find me.

I drift in and out for days, fighting a fever that I have no strength to fight. Then somehow, days later, I shake the fever off.

I lift my head and look around some. Panic sets in, I'm not in the duct work anymore, I'm laying on the ground in a cell. I struggle to get up.

"Best lay still Fearless," I hear Raph mutter.

I turn and look at him, everything spins. I can't stop the groan and shiver as I slump down. I hear shuffling and try to move. I don't remember feeling this weak before. Something presses against my forehead and my eyes flutter.

Raph? Is he…I'm out again.

~*~

It's days later that I gain enough strength to move, but I've started coughing now and Raph keeps telling me to be quiet.

My whole body shakes as a coughing fit attacks me.

"Leo shut-up!" Raph hisses, "hold still!"

It's no use, no matter how hard I try…I yelp as he kicks me in the stomach.

"Shut-up!" he hisses.

I barely hold back a moan of pain. Will he ever respect me…or at least accept that I'm his brother?

I'm wheezing, under the blanket he's tossed over me. I hear voices and struggle to hold back another coughing fit.

They leave and I shiver before slumping limp. Raph jerks the blanket off me.

"They don't know you're here, so shut-up!" He snaps.

I manage to nod and shiver, my body shakes as I suppress the coughing fit, the only sounds I'm making are little gasps.

He kicks me again and I flinch.

Anger and worry in his amber eyes make me realize that he's scared.

I'm sorry Raph.

It's days later when I relapse and another fever grips me. I struggle against it.

When I finally come to, I'm in my own cell not far from Raph and I can hear his angry shouts, they're beating him.

I failed.

I'm so sorry.

A coughing fit comes full force and I shake. I slump limp after the fit ends and lay there gasping, my ribs hurt.

A hand touches my forehead.

"Sir, this one is very ill," I hear a woman whisper.

"Can you do anything?" I hear a man ask.

"Perhaps…but we need to quarantine him," she responds.

When I wake up again I'm laying on a clean surface, wrapped in a blanket, and warm. Warm, for the first time in a long time, I'm warm.

There's an oxygen mask over my mouth and nose. I see a woman standing beside me and struggle to speak.

"Relax," she coaxes, "you've been very sick. We're docking in a few minutes, go ahead and rest."

Despite my efforts I fall asleep.

When I wake I'm in the back of someone's cruiser and Raph isn't.

No!

I have to find him!

I have to bring him home!

The loneliest feeling sets in. I'm alone and a slave on a planet far from home and I failed my brother.

Days pass before I'm brought into a house, laid on a bed and left to rest.

People, my new owners, I hear them talking.

"After he recovers from his illness he'll be a good worker," a man defends.

"If, _if_, he recovers!" another snaps.

"Enough both of you, he's bought and we'll see how things go from here," I hear another man snap.

I'm so tired.

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	6. Chapter 6:Escape Strategies

**Chapter 6: Escape Strategies**

I sit up and groan in agony, over the past three weeks I've been forced to work long hours and the collar on my throat is too tight. It hurts every time I breathe.

I slowly stand and lean against the wall of my bunk house…room more like, the place is cramped. There are eight of us in this small area. I lean against the wall and press my forehead to it. My new owners fight a lot, one thinks I'm worthless, another thinks that I'm worth the effort, and the third, the one who bought me thinks that I'm stupid.

My life has become a living hell. I failed my brother, my father, my whole family.

I've never felt so alone. I start choking myself by rubbing the collar against the wall. It only gets tighter every time I try.

Someone grabs me and pulls me back.

"Stop," they gasp.

I whimper and pull away, gripping my collar and trying to take it off, succeeding in only tightening it.

"You have to stop they'll-" they stop as a man comes in.

He grabs me and the hot whip comes out. I don't flinch, I only revel in the pain of the whip, I deserve it after failing my family.

My father wouldn't have gone easy on me. I very nearly beg for more when he stops and checks the collar, jerking it so tight I can hardly breathe. But all the same…I deserve it.

My stomach lurches as a wave of dizziness washes over me. I gag and gasp, struggling for air of any kind.

A kick to the stomach is all I get.

The door slams shut and I simply curl there.

"Are you insane?" the person who tried to stop me hisses.

I feel hands on my throat before I can suddenly breathe better. They are trying to be kind and all I want to do is die. The shame is too great.

"Stop," I gasp out, "I just want to…"

"Die?" the other finishes, "What's the use right? Snap out of it! They'll kill everyone in here if you kill yourself."

"I failed my family," I rasp, "I failed to get my brother out."

He's silent for a while and then I feel him sit beside me.

"Then get out and find him," he whispers.

"How?" I gasp, more confused than before.

"We've been digging for weeks, but you and your suicide attempts have slowed us down…help us escape, find your brother."

I slowly sit up, body aching, I realize that I should have been thinking about a way out, I would've if my brothers were with me.

~*~

It's been three days since I agreed to help, we dig in shifts. Those that are supposed to be sleeping, dig, while those that are forced to work do our best to steal supplies and scout out the direction that we need to go when we break surface.

I've come back into my element, planning, strategy, everything that could happen I've planned for.

It takes us eight more long weeks to dig to the marker we wanted. Then, that night we gather up the packs of supplies and break surface. The barricaded door will keep the guards out long enough for us to make a dash for the woods. We set off a chain reaction by pulling out one of the supports, the tunnel collapses. We split up and run, I double back and search the main house for my Katana, I find them and steal them back along with my mask and Raph's mask.

Then I vanish out of the main house back toward the woods, using the shadows I was trained to move in.

I make it to the woods and take to the trees. I move in the branches, fast, silent. I find a river and drop into it, letting the water hide my sent before leaving it halfway down stream and begin working my way toward the city where I was sold.

I have to find Raph.

As I look around to survey my surroundings, I flinch, realizing the collar is still on me. I try to remove it, gingerly straining to pull it off. My neck is raw, and every tug hurts, the collar tightens up more and more. I finally stop and find that breathing is painful.

I have to find Raph.

~*~

Days pass before I reach the city, I steal clothes and slip into the mainstream traffic. The jacket I'm wearing helps hide my injured neck and the collar, as well as keep me warm. I stole pants, it seems that no one goes without clothes around here. It's awkward moving in clothes but I make it work. My swords settle on my carapace, resting on leather rather than keratin.

I make it to the slave market and start looking around.

Over the next three weeks I search before I find him. He's hunkered down in a corner, arms bound heavily, a muzzle around his face.

My heart shatters at the sight of him so miserable.

He lifts his head and looks at me, amber eyes blazing.

"He's a mean one," I hear a man say, "gone through eight owners already, no one can tame him."

I shudder at the thought of Raph "tamed".

"How much?" I whisper, afraid to ask.

"Sorry kid someone already bought him, 300 credits for my troubles," he tells me.

My stomach drops and my heart shatters.

300 credits? How am I supposed to counter that?

I'll just have to steal him, bust him out. I throw a hand signal to Raph before slipping away.

_Be back dark._

He grunts as I leave, I can only hope that I can get him out.

That night I creep down and find him huddled there. I manage to squeeze in and find him. I remove the muzzle first.

"You ok?" I whisper.

"Yeah…ya' got any water?" he rasps.

My heart drops.

"No, I'll get you some when we get out," I whisper.

He nods.

"Food?" he whispers.

I feel sick. They've been starving him.

"When we get out," I repeat, carefully cutting the ropes.

He nods again and I'm shocked when he leans against me.

"Tired," he whispers.

"Don't sleep yet," I beg.

He stirs and gets up, slowly, painfully slowly we move. We get out, but Raph can hardly walk, his legs are stiff and he's exhausted.

I get him somehow, to my camp and he collapses. I scramble, pulling him more into the cover of the trees and wrapping him up. I bring water to him, wake him and urge him to drink.

He sleeps after that. For days, I find the raw cuts and scrapes on his wrists and nearly weep. I cradle him as I clean the wounds.

He's so tired he lets me. He finally regains some strength and manages to eat. I start to reach forward and freeze when I hear what he says.

"What took you so long?" he hisses.

I drop my head and press my hand gingerly to my neck touching the collar and the swollen skin around it before removing my jacket.

"I-" I start.

"Shell," he gasps, dropping the bowl and reaching forward, "Leo? Oh my god…what happened?"

I shudder as he touches the welts around the collar.

He recoils in shock, amber eyes huge.

"They put a collar on you?" he growls.

"I got out," I mumble.

Then to my shock he reaches over and find the buckle and lock on the collar.

"How do you get this off?" he hisses.

I shrug, miserable.

Then I yelp as he pulls at the buckle. He stops.

"Sorry bro," he whispers.

Over the next few minutes he works the thick leather and finally manages to break it. It falls off and I gasp for breath.

He lets me lean against him as I catch my breath.

"You good?" he asks after a minute.

I manage a nod.

He moves away and goes back to eating, taking what's left of the food in the makeshift pot and eating.

My stomach growls but I let it go. He hasn't eaten much lately. I huddle in the corner, shivering as I find myself getting sick again.

My throat is raw and infected. I feel tears start as pain builds around my throat. Raph comes over and makes me drink water, before long I'm too sick to move.

"Shell," I hear him hiss.

"Hold on bro, I'm going to find some medical stuff. Hold on," that's the last time I ever heard his voice for a very long time.

They caught him when he went back, his new owner took him away and I barely fought off the infection. When I woke up and found that he was gone I struggled to my feet and went looking.

I had to find him…I _have _to find him.

Raph I'll find you I promise.

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	7. Chapter 7:Lost

**Chapter :Lost**

I thought I had fought off the infection, but it lingered. I've collapsed more times than I've been able to walk. As I search I struggle to find food, shelter, but mostly my brother. My throat is still painful but I daren't attempt to find any sort of medical help.

It's been almost a year now…almost a year since Raph was taken and I was cast out of the family, forced to find my brother or never come home.

I curl tight in the bushes between two houses, desperate for a chance to rest before I push on. I huddle there, shifting in and out of consciousness for who knows how long.

I know I need to rest.

I know I need to give my body time to recover.

I know I need to eat.

I know I need fluids.

But I can't stop for long, who knows what they'll do to Raph…I can't fail him again…I can't. I took so long the first time…I can't make him wait that long again.

It isn't until I hear the sounds of struggle and a child crying that I turn my head and get up.

I see them. It's a man, beating a little girl, not a slight spank on the butt, but _beating_ her. Despite my pain and exhaustion I stubble to my feet and attack the man. My blows are slow and sloppy but he backs off. I stand still, shivering as I stare at him through barely open eyes. Then he lashes out at me and I yelp as I crumple to the ground.

I look up in time to see the belt come up and can't stop the shriek of pain as it connects with my face. I flashback to when Sensei slapped me for Raph's disappearance and sob. Another blow rains down on me, I'm still in front of the girl.

"MOVE YOU FREAK!" he shouts.

I shutter, but kick out with all I have and knock him off his feet. He staggers back and I manage to roll onto my plastron. Shivering I manage to stand, then I hear the girl screaming.

"DADDY!DADDY!DADDY!" she wails, I turn and see her clinging to the man who was beating her.

It seems I'm not the only one who still cares for the family that cuts me off…for the father that hits me.

I bow my head as I realize that the man is dead, I stole her father from her. I turn and shuffle away, back to my hole and curl there, tears streaming down my cheeks as I ache for my own family.

The next thing I know someone rips me out of there and tosses me into the street. Coughs rack my frame, but they don't care.

"He killed my daddy!" I hear the girl sob.

I yelp as the first blow comes, then another, and another, I scream frantic for help. I hear myself plead for them to stop.

I taste bile, I retch, I dry heave. My stomach is empty.

Then suddenly it stops and I'm jerked to my feet, I can hear people arguing. I'm dragged along and feet my feet and toes smash against stairs as I struggle to keep up.

I crumple to the floor when I'm released and simply huddle there, waiting. Waiting to be shot, to be branded, to be told I'm no longer free, that I failed my brother again.

I'm shocked when a kind, a gentle hand tips my head.

"It's ok," I hear a woman coax.

"Shhh," she whispers.

I whimper before I sag forward and black out.

**Nelari's POV**

I couldn't stand it anymore, watching them beat him, my mother and I both begged my father to intervene.

By some miracle, or maybe he just couldn't stand it anymore either, he did, brought the young man in here and let go. He collapsed as if my father's grip was all that was keeping him on his feet.

I haven't see my own kind since we had to move here for my father's job. I help my mom clean him up as he sleeps.

The fever is high…dangerously high and he's so thin. It's not until I see his neck that I realize…he was a slave.

The very thing my father fights to end, slavery.

To my shock I take the young man's hand and hold it gently. I'm shocked by the strength I feel there, I nearly drop his hand.

Even being as sick as he is…he's strong. I see it now the muscle that is still under the skin. What happened to him?

"Nelari," my mother whispers.

I glance up at her.

"Let him rest, I'll keep an eye on him throughout the night," she says.

Despite the urge to stay, I listen, too many people in here might make him nervous if he wakes.

~*~

It's three days later when he wakes up, the fever has finally broken and my mother was able to stitch his injuries and clean them properly.

I walk to find him standing, naked mind you, with one of the blades that were on his back pointed at me.

I'm too shocked to move and nearly drop the tray I'm carrying.

"Who are you?" he demands, his voice is a rich baritone.

I sense no fear in it…only a wariness.

"My name is Nelari," I tell him, "my family took you in and…you…you were very sick…"

I manage, forcing myself to look him in the eye.

He slowly lowers the blade and shifts nervously, eyes flicking toward the door behind me.

"I was just bringing food in for you…do you want to eat?" I whisper.

His golden-brown eyes flick back toward me a moment before going back to the door.

"No," he says softly.

His stomach gives him away, and I see him flinch a little.

Is he one of those proud types I wonder?

Like my father?

Who never likes to accept help?

"We won't hurt you," I coax.

Then to my shock he gives me a dark look, his eyes turn cold and he tenses like a spring.

"Everyone wants to hurt me," he hisses, "even the brat who I helped."

I flinch, and look at my feet, I fight tears as I set the tray down and leave.

"It's good," I whisper, gesturing toward the tray as I leave.

**Back to Leo **

Everything hurts, I'm sore, stiff, and so tired. I can't trust anyone here. I daren't touch the food, though it smells good and the water…I'm thirsty.

I stare at the ground and sit back on my bed, Katana clutched tight. I nervously touch the blade and tremble as it cuts into my hand, strange how pain makes me feel better anymore.

Hunger makes me feel strong.

I have to figure out how to get out of here, I have to find my brother. Have I been branded I wonder…am I a slave again?

I look up as a man comes in and steel myself for a beating. I could do it with my father, I can do it with a stranger, ignore the pain.

"So you won't eat," he says softly, more a comment than a question.

I don't respond, I only glare.

"We won't hurt you lad. You're safe here," he coaxes.

I simply look, still as a statue, they won't get to me. I won't fall for it.

"What did they do to you?" he whispers.

"Taught me to be like stone," I hear myself reply as I turn my back to him.

His hand touches my carapace seconds later.

"No need to be stone anymore lad," he whispers.

"I'm no one's property," I spit, lashing out at him.

He jumps back as I advance.

"I'M NO ONE'S PROPERTY ANYMORE!" I scream.

I won't do it, I won't stand by and be a puppet anymore. I won't be someone's pet, someone's messenger, I won't be a weapon, I won't be a babysitter.

"No you aren't," he says as I close in, arm raised to strike him, "You aren't mine…and you'll never be anyone elses as long as I can help it."

I freeze and step back, slowly dropping my arm.

I tremble and then back up and crumple into the bed, I'm aware I'm crying, but I can't stop.

He sits beside me, rubbing my carapace.

"It's alright," he coaxes, "it's alright."

I cry myself to sleep and when I wake he's back, coaxing me to eat, he takes a bite to show me it's safe and I gladly eat afterward.

As much as I know I need to find my brother, I can't bear to leave this safe place…where someone cares about me.

I stay there for days…weeks…months.

I daren't leave the room, I don't ever see the angelic girl again, I daren't ask about her. Then I find Raph's mask in my things and realize I have to find him, I can't leave him in the hands of monsters.

I leave the room then, walk out and stand in the middle of the living room. I see them, sitting together, the man, the woman who gave me clean clothes, and the are talking quietly, the angel sees me.

"Hi," she whispers.

They turn and look at me.

"Well come on in," the man coaxes.

"I have to find my brother," I hear myself say, "but I don't where to look. I don't even know where he is…where I am…"

"We'll help you find him," they say.

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	8. Chapter 8: Learning to Trust

**Chapter 8: Learning to Trust**

They've taken me in completely, accepted me into this home and let me stay. We're eating diner now. The angel, whose name I've learned is Nelari sits off to my right, her mother Kelur is on my left, and directly to my front is her father, Luhar.

I have told them nothing about my family, about me, only, only the fact that I have to find my brother.

I stare at the food in front of me and sob, dropping the fork as the memory of Raph bound and muzzled enters my head, how hungry he was. I'm aware that I'm moving toward the room they let me stay in.

How can I eat while he is hungry?

Someone stops me before I get far.

"Hey," she coaxes, Nelari, "hey what's wrong?"

"I can't," I get out.

"Can't what?" she whispers.

"He could be starving…I can't…I can't eat that," I manage, "my father would-"

I freeze when I realize I nearly told them about how much of a ridged life I lived. How my father ruled over me with aniron fist.

At first, he never knew about it. The things that he said were wrong with me. I learned later in life what they were. I have severe OCD tendencies…Master Splinter thought I was Autistic at first…figured I'd never be able to do anything worthwhile. But he saw that I wasn't, he trained me to be a leader…a weapon.

I stopped being Leonardo years ago and started being simply "him" or "fearless leader", Raph always called me that when we were younger, he heard Master Splinter tell me that a leader must be fearless and started teasing me about it. At first, the training made me feel good, I was showing my father that I was worth something, but slowly I realized that I was being cut off from my family. That I was being separated from my brothers, slowly the tight bond that we had, began to fray…and eventually fall away completely. I have nothing in common with my brothers other than our training, haven't since we were kids.

I pull away and close the door to my room in desperation, I just want to go home, I can't afford to waste time here.

With tears rolling down my cheeks I gather my swords and jacket before starting to open the window.

"Wait," Luhar calls.

I pause half expecting the sharp command to kneel and the slap that would follow.

Failure was never an option.

I turn and slowly sink to my knees, I cringe as he moves, expecting the blow. Then I feel a gentle hand on my chin as my head turns I see the kind, though worried, look on Luhar's face.

"Did your father hit you?" he whispers.

I start shaking and look away, try to.

"Look at me," he coaxes.

My eyes flick back toward him as he repeats the question.

"I'm useless," I mumble, "I'm a weapon that's all."

He's quiet for a while and then to my shock he pulls me into a hug.

"Come here young man, shhh," he whispers.

I find myself crying, slowly I lean into the hug and simply weep. He rocks me a little and talks softly.

It would take me another three weeks to venture back into the main rooms. Luhar has been scouring the slave markets looking for Raph. They finally know my name, though they say it differently, Leh'yadar rather than Leonardo.

I jump as my door opens, it's the angel, Nelari.

"Leh'ya dad found him! He found your brother!" she gasps.

I scramble to my feet and bolt toward the door, nearly knocking her over in the process. I come into the main room and hear him, I hear Raph.

"GET YOUR HAND OFF ME!" he roars, "I'M NOBODY'S PET!"

"RAPH!" I cry as I see him.

He rounds on me and freezes.

"Leo?" he whispers.

I tremble as I see his battered frame.

I jerk awake and sob, it was only a dream. I feel a hand touch my shoulder. I hunch tight and nervously glance up to see Nelari leaning over me.

"Are you ok?" she whispers.

She's in her night clothes and I realize that her parents are in the door way.

"You were screaming," she whispers.

I hunch tighter and look away.

"I'm fine," I mumble.

She's beautiful, a Teripen like her parents, like me. Her skin is pale cream, toned, with yellow markings and her hair is golden toned her eyes the clearest blue. But I don't dare pursue her, my father made it clear, if female like us were to turn up, my brothers have the right to pursue first. I was to be the last one to touch a woman, to pursue one. I have no right to happiness.

"We won't hurt you," she whispers, I realize I'm hunched so tight that I'm nearly in a fetal position.

I force myself to relax and nod.

"I'm fine," I mumble.

Then to my shock she presses a kiss to my forehead, I freeze.

"Ok, get some rest," she whispers.

She smells like orchids, she kissed me, my heart shatters in agony. I can't, no matter how much I like her, I can't.

I hear my door click closed, but sleep doesn't come, I lay awake most of the night, tossing and turning, thinking about who I am and who I want to be. In the end I make a choice that changes my life forever.

I choose to be who I want to be. I will find my brother and take him home, but, if Nelari will have me…I'll ask her, I'll live here, I'll fight to end slavery with her father.

I'll leave the family that cuts me off behind. Let Raph be the leader, he wants it more than I do anyway.

The next morning I walk out and stand with my shoulders hunched, stand in the shadows as they eat and wait to be acknowledged. I wait, silent, unwilling to interrupt them.

"Well? Are you going to join us?" I hear Kelur coax.

I blink and nervously step out toward them.

"If it's ok," I mumble.

"If its ok?" Nelari asks, "of course its ok, get over here you goof."

I blink, before slowly walking over and hesitantly taking the seat beside her.

It's two days later when I'm helping Nelari with her garden that she asks me about my family.

"What are your brothers like?" she asks.

"They have hobbies," I mumble, "they…they have time on their hands."

"And you?" she whispers, pausing to look at me.

"I'm a weapon," I reply.

She gaps and I flinch, great, I scared her. Good work Leo.

Then I feel her hand on my mine and look at her.

"You don't have any hobbies?" she coaxes.

I look away as I shake my head.

"I…my sole purpose is to protect my family…to lead them…nothing more," I whisper.

"Why?" she whispers, still holding my hand mind you, "How could your father be so cold?"

I look at her, into those blue eyes and then look away.

"I have problems," I whisper, nervously adjusting the piles of weeds that I've pulled up. Master Splinter would've gotten angry for my need to straighten that out.

"I hate to be blunt Leh'ya but what problems? What problems other than the ones he forced into you? You've got a good heart. You only want to find your brother, it's by my pleas that you do anything else but mope and hide away. Leh'ya look at me please," she ends in a whisper.

"I have severe OCD," I mumble, " and my father thinks I have autistic tendencies."

She blinks and then takes my hands.

"Look at me," she coaxes.

I slowly raise my eyes to hers, I feel like I could drown they are so blue, so kind though, so caring.

"You _aren't_ Autistic," she tells me, "you talk to us, you socialize, even if you are quiet, Leo its not because you are like that. You understand how society works. OCD is sometimes hard to deal with but, it's nothing serious. So you have the urge to make things look aligned and straight, so what? Sometimes that's a good thing. The room you've been in is cleaner than I've ever seen it, more organized for sure…stop listening to the man that wants you to be nothing but a weapon and start listening to yourself."

I look away and feel my hands tighten gently around her hands.

"Thank-you," I manage.

She blinks and then smiles.

"You are welcome," she gives me a caste kiss on the cheek before turning back to her gardening.

I can't help but smile a little.

"I still have to find him though," I whisper.

"We'll help you," she replies without looking up, "my dad is still looking, once you've gathered yourself again he'll let you help ."

I nod and gently brush back her hair for her. She smiles at me and then goes back to working on the garden.

I feel light, like a heavy burden has been taken off my shoulders, maybe things can get better after all.

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	9. Chapter 9:Searching Again

**Chapter 9:Searching Again**

It's been four months since Nelari and her family helped to heal the agony that my heart carried. Lahur has been helping me search for Raph, it's been slow going though sorting through files and rough paperwork.

As much as I fear going home, going back to that life. I can't leave my brother as a slave.

I sigh as I glance at the clock and see that its late. Nelari will be waiting for me to escort her back home. I get up and put the slave files back before leaving the room and heading out the door.

As I walk, I hunch, my jacket edge flipped up to hide the scarring on my throat. I trudge along the narrow paths toward the building where Nelari works, she's a dancer, or was, she teaches now. I step into the building nearly twenty minutes later and find her cleaning things up.

"Hey, did you-" she starts.

"No," I mumble.

She gives me a sad look, before walking over and kissing my cheek.

"We'll find him," she whispers.

I simply shrug.

"I…don't know if I want to find him…if they…they…what if he just pushes me back into the mold I was forced to live in before? I can't do that anymore, I can't live like that, not after knowing you and your parents," I say as I stop and look at her, "…but…I can make him…I can't leave him to that fate either."

I simply don't know what to think anymore, I'm more lost than ever. I glance up as she cups my cheek and pulls me toward her.

"Leh'ya, you don't have to go back," she whispers.

"My brothers need m-" I start.

"They can take care of themselves. Think about _you_. What do _you_ want to do with the rest of your life? Do you want to baby-sit until you're too old to do anything else? Or do you want to find what you're good at?" she asks me.

I look at her, my dull ugly brown eyes meeting her clear, sapphire blue. I don't know, I though I wanted to help Lahur, I thought I could leave the pain behind. But I love my brothers even as they look past me.

"I…want to…see my brothers again," I manage, "I don't know…how to change."

She looks at me in surprise and then I see the sorrow there.

"You love them despite everything don't you?" she whispers.

I manage a nod and pull my gaze away.

"We best get back," I whisper, "it's getting dark."

"Ok," she says softly.

~*~

By the time we get there its getting dark and I know something's wrong as we round the corner.

I freeze when I see the door off the hinge and the shutters open.

"NO!" Nelari screams, trying to run forward.

I grab her and drag her tight, frantic to keep one strand of kindness with me.

"Wait," I beg, frantically trying to get her attention, "Please NEL!"

She stops, when she hears my plea, tears rolling down her cheeks. Before I can say anything else she clings to me and sobs. I hug her and bury my face against her hair, something I've longed to do, but not like this…I never wanted this.

After we get a hold of a neighbor and call the authorities the place is searched and Nelari's parents are found.

She weeps for days, there was a letter next to her father that said if Nelari didn't leave in three days they would kill her too. The arrangements have been made Nelari, my angel is going back to her home planet to live with her grandparents.

I'm being left alone again. I sit on the bed they gave me and listen to her pack fighting tears and hugging myself.

I love her, I know that know.

I look around and struggle to know what to do, but I know what I have to do. I don't think I could stand a goodbye.

As quietly as I can I gather my few things and slip out into the hall. My Katanas, the new Sai I forged for Raph, the new mask Nelari's mother made for him, and my mask. I pause, listening for a moment and then let a letter drop to the floor of her open door before I leave.

It'll be easier this way, I won't have to be left alone.

As I open the door I hear my name called.

"LEH'YA!" she cries, "NO!"

I weep as I vanish into the shadows.

"Leh'ya! Please! Don't leave me alone!" she sobs, I stop and turn, glancing out of the shadows to see her on the porch, clutching my letter and sobbing.

"Please," she whispers, "please."

Before I know it I'm beside her, I drop my things and wrap my arms around her in comfort.

"I'm sorry," I choke out, "I just didn't want to say good-bye."

She clings to me and just sobs.

"I'm scared to be alone," she whispers.

I hug her tight and fight my own tears.

~*~

The next morning we leave for the space port and I escort her to her platform, my things on my shoulders.

As she turns to get on I step back and start to melt into the crowd.

"Leh'ya?" she calls, "where are you going?"

I stop and turn, startled to see a second ticket in her hand, I blink in surprise.

"But-" I manage.

"We'll keep looking when we get there," she tells me, "I promise I'll help you find him."

I manage a smile and sigh.

"Fine but I get the window seat," I whisper.

She blinks and then starts laughing. I crack a grin.

Why?

I have absolutely no clue, but it feels good to laugh.

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	10. Chapter 10:Chaos and Lost Angel

**Chapter 10: Chaos and Lost Angel**

I shift nervously as the attendant tells us that the space plane is approaching space port. I start to sit up and freeze when I realize that Nel is asleep against me. Four days aboard his shuttle thing and I found it even harder to consider walking away after I get her to her grandparents. I just find that I can't bear to leave her, I love her and even though I have to find my brother, I can't stand to walk away from Nel.

I smile as she snuggles closer to me, then gently I push her hair from her face and whisper her name.

She stirs after a minute and blinks awake.

"Hmmm?" she murmurs.

"They said we need to get ready to port," I tell her, gently pulling away.

After all, I have so much baggage…would she truly want me as a husband? Would see be willing to wait for me as I look for my brother. I best just stay a friend, leave it at that.

"Thanks," she murmurs.

"No problem," I mumble.

She kisses me on the cheek and I jump. She giggles as I blush.

"For being my pillow," she adds.

I blush and look away. Does she like me? How? How could she…but….it makes sense I guess. I still don't understand what she sees in me though. I have so much baggage.

I mumble something I don't even know and put the seatbelt on.

"Leh'ya…I'm…I'm sorry…I didn't mean to-," she starts.

I realize I've been ignoring her as she asks me something and as I turn to look at her I see the hurt there.

"Nel," I whisper, gently cupping her cheek and turning her face toward me.

She sniffs and tries to pull away.

"I love you," it comes out before I can stop it.

She looks at me in confusion.

"But-" she starts.

I kiss her and then pull away.

"I'm just confused," I tell her softly.

She nods and takes my hand. An angel still, my angel. I have so much to figure out.

~*~

It's nearly three hours later when we leave the space plane and find our ride to her grandfather's. I instantly know something is wrong about this man, when Nel tells me she's never met him before. That her father and grandfather fought constantly. As we get out of the car and start to walk in, me carrying the majority of our bags, mostly her's, I really only have my swords, Raph's Sai, and the clothes I'm wearing. I flip the collar of my jacket up to hide my scars as I get a wary glance from the driver. The house looks like some sort of old style antiquity. Something that should be well kept up and cherished…and expensive.

"My lady, your slave must go in through the back entrance," a man tells us, he looks like a bellhop or something.

I freeze in shock and I see Nel's eyes widen in horror.

Now I know why Lahur and his father fought so much. Lahur hated slavery, while his father kept slaves.

"He's not my slave he's…he's my promised," she sputters.

Why do I have a bad feeling about that statement? Promise…oh shell…did she just say we're engaged?

"Oh…well…I'm sorry sir…ma'am," the man apologies.

I grunt and walk up to the man, wrapping an arm around Nel before walking past with her. Best play the part for a while.

Nel leans into me and grips my hand.

I hear devious whispers as we walk into the courtyard. I see a few slaves, marked by brands on their biceps, their eyes flicking over me and Nel.

A small boy spots us and walks up to me.

"Sir? Sir? Do you have any candy?" he whispers.

I blink and look at him in surprise. I mentally search my jacket pockets. I don't have anything and then I see the brand on the boy's arm and feel sick. He's a slave.

"HEY! GET BACK TO WORK KID!" I hear a man shout and glance up to see a large foreman striding my way.

I quickly hand a lighter bag to the boy and urge him to follow. The foreman stops and glares but lets the boy follow. He's working right? Ha!

As soon as we are out of sight I stop and find the small piece of chocolate that I have left and give it to the boy.

He grins broadly and takes the smallest bite and savors it.

"Thanks mister," he whispers.

I smile sadly as he slips off, back to whatever duty they are making him do.

"Humph…that boy is always up to something. Sorry about that, probably got candy out of ya' huh?" a man greets.

I turn and see a man that vaguely resembles Lahur and feel my stomach turn. This is the father of a man I admired.

"He was helping me carry something," I defend.

"Oh…well good then," the man replies before casting me a slow, calculating look and turning toward Nel.

"You…you keep slaves?" she whispers.

"Yes my dear I do. Treat them better than most though. Now I hear you are promised to this young man?" he looks at me with a barely hidden glance of disgust.

She moves toward me and I wrap a protective arm around her.

"Yes," I say firmly.

Nel leans into my embrace as I stand tall.

"Well, we'll just get the wedding set up then won't we?" he says curtly.

Nel entwines her hand in mine as we follow the cold figure before us.

It's three weeks later after Ku'geh and I have had a shouting match that I come home to find the boy, whose name I now know is Joa, standing anxiously around the main entrance.

"Mister!" he hisses, I stop and look at him in surprise.

"Afternoon Joa, I found my brother," I greet, clutching the piece of paper that holds the address where Raph is being kept.

Joa gives me a scared look.

"He sold her," Joa whispers.

I blink.

"Her?" feeling very nervous suddenly.

"You're lady," he whispers, "he has a buyer for you too. You better run!"

I growl and sprint toward the house. I hear Joa cry my name in warning. I storm in and slam doors open. I spot him the man who sold the only woman I've ever loved.

"You b******!" I growl out, knuckles white with how hard I'm clenching my fists.

"Just business kid," he mutters without looking up.

"You sold your own granddaughter!" I shout.

"And you," he whispers as he stands.

"You won't touch me," I snarl as I lash out at him and send him flying into his desk.

I grab the front of his shirt and growl, teeth bared and snarling, I've learned more than a few things from Raph over the years.

"Where. Is. She?" I spit.

"Gone, you'll never find her," he gasps, despite his attempt to look cool, I see as well as smell his fear.

"Tell me," I growl, "or I'll make your death slow."

He freezes when I say that and fumbles around back toward his desk. I spot the security button and throw him away from the desk, block the door, and turn around. He's holding a laser pistol at me.

I roll my eyes and leap forward using the training that my father taught me, not a single blast touches me. Ku'geh ends up slammed against the wall as I invoke every single bit of pent up rage and fury into that man's frame.

In the end I get a name and storm toward my room, gathering my things, and a few of Nel's most cherished items and leave, stealing food out of the kitchen and grabbing Joa.

We leave, I'll find them. My brother and my love.

* * *

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	11. Chapter 11:On the Run

**Chapter 11: On the Run**

It's been two months since I grabbed Joa and ran from Nel's grandfather's home, I've tracked her to a planet known for its harsh winters, Raph is somewhere around here too. There are signs up everywhere with my face on it, Joa is scared out of his mind, clinging to me and begging to be allowed to find his parents.

I can't risk slipping into a city to hand him over to the authorities, they'll grab me and drag me off to the person who bought me off of that vile man.

Its night right now and we've bedded down in a clearing and made a small fire. We can't risk sleeping long, even though days without decent sleep are catching up with me.

I sit up as I hear something snap in the trees around us.

Joa jerks awake and whimpers softly.

I grab my Katanas and start to sit up.

"This is private property," I hear a man growl before the hum of a laser pistol fills the air.

Joa whimpers again and looks at me in terror.

"I'm sorry, we…we just needed to rest for the night," I whisper.

The pistol turns off as a light flickers into my face, I squint and cover my eyes with my arm.

"Well…you could've just knocked on the door. You two hungry?" he asks.

I blink and nod, my stomach growls at the thought of food.

"Why…why're you…" I start.

"Was a slave myself once. Come on, let's get you two inside it's supposed to pour tonight," he replies.

I get up and slowly follow, urging Joa to follow as I make sure my things are close by.

We move slowly, Joa watching me for my signal to run if things turn bad, I walk carefully, just within seeing distance of the man.

We follow him to the edge of the woods and I pause, Joa beside me.

The man stops and looks at me.

"Well come on," he urges.

"How do I know you won't turn us in?" I whisper.

"You don't, but I'm offering you food and shelter for the night. Like I said there's supposed to be a bad storm coming in tonight, make your choice, but I won't hold it against you if you chose not to come in," he replies softly.

"Leh'ya," Joa whispers, "please."

I glance down at him and make a choice. I look back at the man and shift nervously.

"Ok," I whisper, so quiet I barely hear it myself.

A few minutes later the man, Joban, leads us into his small home, not moments after we walk in it starts raining.

Pouring, lightening streaks across the sky before thunder shakes the house.

"You must be new around here huh?" Joban asks as he starts up an old stove.

"Honey? What's going on?" I hear a woman ask.

"Found these two in need of some where to rest for the night, figured I'd make them something to eat too," Joban replies.

I get a good look at him then and gasp. He's huge, standing over seven foot, his skin is a pebbled blue-grey with white markings. His hair is dark and coarse and he has large pale yellow eyes. But as he turns I see a more human features, his face is more human, so are his ears and hands.

"Ah…yes. I'm half human and half Juorg," Joban tells me.

I manage a nod.

The woman steps forward out of the stairwell and smiles at us, she is a mimicry of Joban only a little shorter and her skin is a creamy-grey with yellow markings against her dark hair, her eyes are the same though and her features are more alien, no human influence in them.

"Oh you poor thing," the woman whispers when she sees Joa hiding behind me.

Joa only comes forward after I give a nod, to which she takes him off and gives him something to eat.

Minutes later as I smell the food cooking, I collapse, knees hitting the floor. Joban catches me and helps me sit.

Exhaustion and hunger have finally caught up.

"I'm fine," I mumble.

Joban snorts as he urges me to drink a broth.

"It's not much for now but it'll give your stomach something to work over. Kuya grab me a Cun," he calls to his wife.

She grabs what looks like a cookie or a small candy bar and hands it over. Joban urges me to eat it as I lean against the wall. It's sweet, pure energy I learn later. Joa glues himself to my side and huddles there, eyes huge with fear, he keeps looking at me.

I don't know when I drift of despite the energy bar thing, but I do and when I wake I'm curled on a mat with a blanket tossed over me. I hear people talking in a foreign language and start to sit up. I freeze when I realize Joa is curled beside me, sound asleep.

The voices stop and I hear someone come over.

I look up to see Joban standing over me.

"Go ahead and rest," he urges, "it'll be alright. We'll have a big breakfast ready for you in the morning."

I manage a weak nod and sink back into the blankets and let my strained body relax.

When I wake the next day Joa is gone, but I can hear him chattering in the other room. I sit up slowly, feeling rather shaky and know its because I haven't eaten in nearly four days, not a good thing when you're pushing to find two people.

Every one of my joints pop as I sit up, muscles protest, I'm stiff and sore.

"Ouch," I hear Joban chuckle softly, "here."

I glance his way to see an offered hand and take it. He pulls me to my feet and I finish stretching out the tight muscles.

"Thank-you," I whisper.

"Young man, it is no problem," he whispers, "your things are by the door. We've stocked food for you if you chose not to stay but I hope you'll stay long enough to get some weight back on."

I wince and shake my head.

"I can't…I have to find my brother and wife," I mumble, "they were kidnapped and now they're slaves somewhere around here."

Joban scowls and shakes his head.

"My mother was snatched from in front of her home so I feel your sorrows. Stay and I will help you find them," he tells me.

I look at him and can't help but wonder.

"Why?" I whisper, "why help me?"

"I was a slave once two, my mother was raped by her foreman and bore me. I was born a slave, managed to earn my freedom and I wish to help slaves become free. Anyway I can," he replies.

I nod and glance toward Joa.

"I have to be the one to free them…but I'd ask that…Joa…would you…?" I start.

"Of course, I'll raise him as my son. He is not yours I can see that," Joban replies.

"No, but he warned me that the man that sold my wife was waiting for me so I took him from his owner. I believe he is of Hugini decent," I reply.

"Close. He is of the Hugani, a separate race that closely resembles the Hugini though," Joban replies, then looks at me quietly, "you are young to have wed."

"We hoped that it would prevent us from being separated," I whisper.

It had been Nel's idea, spurned on by her grandfather's talk of a wedding. She figured that my father couldn't make me step away from her if we were wed. So I agreed, oh how I miss her, holding her, having her sleep beside me.

"I am sorry," Joban tells me.

I look at him and nod.

"Your brother…tell em about him, perhaps I have seen him in the slave yards," Joban whispers.

"Bigger than me, darker complexion, nasty attitude," I mutter.

Joban snorts before laughing.

"That is vague my friend," he laughs, clapping me on the Carapace and nearly knocking me off my feet.

I grunt and give him a startled look before cracking a grin and laughing too. I was vague. It feels good to laugh.

"Sorry," I get out finally, "he's built more muscled, broader in the shoulders and a thicker frame, more of a emerald/forest skin tone, and he has a vicious temper."

"Fair enough," Joban says softly, scratching his chin.

His eyes take on a distant look as he thinks, then, he snaps his fingers and stands up straight.

"I remember someone, a Terripan of that description, a savage, he was taken to some sort of mining place. Bought by a man that is rarely seen anymore," Joban murmured, quickly dashing off down the hallway.

I start to follow and nearly lose my balance before grabbing the wall for support. I slowly sink to the ground and listen to Joban as he comes back, fumbling through some papers.

I think I'll stay here for a second.

"You ok?" Joban asks.

I nod before promptly passing out, low blood sugar is apparently bad for me.

* * *

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	12. Chapter 12:Walking the Fire

**Chapter 12: Walking the Fire**

It takes me nearly three weeks to get myself back in shape and enough weight back on my frame that Kuya quits fussing over me and Joban stops watching me like a hawk. Joban's been searching for Raph's owner and also Nel's owner.

I settle into a pattern, get up, search through files, walk the slave markets, go to sleep.

Joa has been officially adopted by Joban and Kuya and he loves it here.

I sit back and think, its been nearly four years since I left home, four years.

"Leh'yadar!" Joban calls.

I scramble to my feet and rush to his study, one of the few nicer rooms in this cramped home. As I dash in he stands up and hands me a piece of paper.

"That's were they're keeping her," he tells me as he points to a spot on the roughly sketched map, "you should be able to get in through here. This is where your brother is, same entrance should work."

I nod and look at him sadly.

"Thank-you," I say softly, "for everything."

He nods and places a hand on my shoulder.

"I'll keep an eye out. If I see them, I'll figure out a way to free them. Take care of yourself," he tells me softly.

I realize suddenly that I've gotten taller, I'm approaching six foot now, just about to Joban's collar bone.

"I will," I tell him as I take the map and turn, "thank-you again Joban, if we ever get a chance to meet under better circumstances I would like to get to know you better."

"As would I my friend. There is food in the bag by the door and water as well. I believe Kuya put a few sets of new clothing for you. Remember to get to shelter before winter hits, winter is harsh here," he tells me.

"I will," I promise him as I pull on my jacket and hoist my bag onto my shoulders, as I turn to leave he says one more thing that makes me smile.

"You are welcome to take shelter here before heading home. I will do my best to aide you in returning home," he tells me.

I nod my thanks and jog down the stairs and toward the compound, I see him as I round a corner, watching me.

I have never had any real friend besides Usagi and even he followed my father's example in dealing with me. Usagi was definitely more of a friend than my father wanted him to be though. Usagi gave me hope, told me I was strong and well skilled in Ninjitsu while my father praised me only when my brothers were around and made me train until my body gave out. He seemed to want them to hate me, all I wanted was them to at least respect me, if not love me for me. But why chase vain hopes? They only see me as a nag and a nuisance.

Days pass as I work toward the compound that has my family. I walk slowly around the guarded areas. I hear them, the guards, talking about the new slaves and the people that buy the rock here. Apparently slaves live underground and mine the heavy marble-like stone that most people around here use as building material. I shutter at the thought of Raph hauling rock, of Nel trying to work in spaces that could collapse and kill her.

I shutter as I creep forward and manage to creep toward the entrance.

How am I going to bust them out?

They're underground and I'd have to get past the guards, down to where they are, break both of them free, and somehow get back up and out.

I'm…not sure this will go according to plan, but I have to try…I _have_ to try.

I slip past the guards and start toward the hall that leads downward. I take a deep breath and start that way.

Shouts alert me that I've been seen and I bolt down the hall, scrambling to remember the way out, I turn on a dime and sprint toward the chamber that has the elevator down. Shouts alert me and I jump of the platform and hit the edge of the opposite wall and squeeze through the broken grate.

I'm in.

I keep crawling, eventually I find a water filled tunnel and start running, I can't get caught.

It seems like hours as I run, slowly I begin realizing that the ground is steadily going downward. I slip and come crashing down, the water is faster now and I have to fight to remain upright. Then it empties out into a huge pool of moving water. I'm shoved down toward the bottom and I scramble to get up, lungs screaming for air as I struggle upward.

I break surface and fight the fast current toward he distant bank that is barely visible.

I strain forward, the current dragging me down stream, then my hand hits rock and I lash out again, my knuckles hurt and I know that I have cut through the skin. Then I find a grip and manage to pull myself further forward, seconds later after my feet and hands have been sliced apart I manage to get onto the bank and collapse there, panting as I fight to get my breath.

I'm here, I'm in here.

Now I just have to figure out how to find my family and get them out of here. It's dark, I can barely see anything at all, but I was trained to fight in the dark.

I can find them.

I can do this.

I move slowly as I push myself upward, gasping when my ribs scream protest. I'm more battered than I first thought.

I push myself up slowly, fighting to prevent myself from crying out. Slowly I manage to stand and stagger down the narrow, pitch black hall, trying to find a place to rest before I push on.

I need to be strong enough to fight back if I have to.

I find a place to curl up and settle into the crevice and close my eyes.

I'm coming my love, my angel.

I won't fail you Raph, I'll find a way to free you too.

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Reviews Please!!!


	13. Chapter 13:Infiltration

**Chapter 13: Infiltration**

After I wake up in the dark I start moving, slowly, painfully. My body protests every move as I begin trying to get out of the crevice I squirmed into last night or whenever that was.

My body continues to protest but I keep moving, relying on my senses to move through the dark tunnel.

As I continue on I hear people talking and force myself to blend into the surrounding rock, pressing myself up against it and hoping that no one sees me. Whoever they are walk past me and continue on their way.

"Heard that some crazy jumped into the shaft and went through the water grate…" I hear one say as they move on.

"Yeah I heard the same and now we have to find the sap…" I another grumbles.

"If its alive," the other laughs.

I flinch, well they know I'm in here so I have to be more careful now…getting out of here with Nel and Raph is going to be even harder…

~*~

Hours pass as I search along the walls, managing to find more tunnels and work through them toward the areas that I'm sure my family is being held. I have to go slowly because of my injuries. Then, wincing as my body protests, I turn a corner and find a set of rooms around me.

I shift nervously as I walk toward the rooms. I hear people shuffling around and talking softly.

Nervously I glance around and start moving.

"HEY!" I hear.

I whip around and make a break for the end of the hallway, seconds later I am grabbed and roughly slammed to the ground.

I twist and buck, kick and bite, frantic to get away.

Something hit's the back of my head and I'm gone.

I'm sorry…

* * *

Reviews Please!!!


	14. Chapter 14:Captured and Chained

**Chapter 14: Captured and Chained**

I groan as I come to and slowly sit up, body aching as I turn and look around. I see a few men standing over me.

"

I see them turn and look at me and the man staring at me smiles, but that smile makes me nervous, it's a cruel kind of smile.

I start to move and freeze eyes flicking downward as I realize that I'm chained up. I shift nervously and eye the chains, weighting them in my mind, trying to decide if I'll be able to break them.

I make a choice and prepare to jump forward.

I jerk forward and groan as the chains snap me back against the wall.

I groan as my ribs and arms ache and protest my escape attempt.

My captors laugh as I try to sit up and hiss in pain.

Over the next few days they try to force me to work. My Carapace is criss-crossed by hot-whips and my legs and arms receive burns from them. I refuse to give up, I will figure out a way to find my family and get out. I promise I will.

~*~

I'm not sure how long its been now, but they've started starving me to make me work. I made it nearly two weeks before I begged for food the first time. Its harder to make myself go past that point now. But I force myself to, I force myself not to beg for it.

I refuse to beg anymore, I've shammed my family enough, I can't risk doing it again.

Pain is their weapon.

They beat me, torture me, and starve me.

I scream as they lash open my legs this time and I try to curl tighter, but I can't get tighter.

They grab one of my hands and squeeze it so tight I hear as well as feel the bones snap.

I scream, from the pain of it, but I refuse to beg for food.

They want to break me, to force me to give in.

I won't be broken.

I won't.

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Sorry for the Short Chapter, its just a transition one…next ones will be longer!!!

Please Review!!!!


	15. Chapter 15:Dark

**Chapter 15: Dark **

I've lost track of time since I was caught, but I know they have something else planned for me now.

I'm being dragged toward a room with a heavy door, torture I've been able to handle so far, but now…who knows.

I struggle a little, trying to get my battered feet under me. One of them grips my broken hand and I barely stifle the cry of pain. I'm thrown into the room seconds later and I collapse on the floor.

As I turn and manage to sit up the door slams shut and I'm trapped in pitch black.

There is no light at all.

At first I manage to meditate and shut out the ominous darkness, but after days I start to jump at every noise. They come in and beat me until I scream.

I don't get enough rest, exhaustion plus my growing fear of the darkness around me makes me paranoid.

I'm convinced that there are people around me everywhere, just out of reach.

I hear voices constantly and it makes me more on edge.

I'm starved, who knows how long its been since I last ate.

Shivering I hunker down in a corner and struggle to stay awake.

I jump as the door creaks open and stumble back, blinking from the brightness of the other room.

They grab me and throw me to the floor.

It happens too fast for me to react. But I know what is going on…I still haven't broken…

He leans down and whispers in my ear as I squirm, struggling to figure out what they are going to do to me.

Then he tells me.

"You know what we do to those that don't break? It's called the ultimate punishment. Breaks them every time…I'm going to take you like a slut…" he tells me.

The terror hits home when I realize what he means. I fight back, trying to save my honor, but they hold me down.

NO!

Please no!!!

I'll never be able to go home!

I lash out, straining to get away, then the pain, I remember screaming but black out after that.

When I come to I'm bleeding badly and I can't stop sobbing.

I'm tainted.

I'm soiled.

I have no Honor.

I can never go home.

Never…go home.

I sob as I curl tight, I've been broken and they know it.

If I touch anyone I taint them too…I can't rescue Raph…I can't hold Nel ever again…

I can't…go home…

I drag my mangled lower body and huddle in a corner…every movement accenting the agony I'm in…and all I can do is weep.

~*~

They come back, day after day and do the same thing until I simply wait for them, simply let them.

Why not?

I have nothing else to offer but my dishonor.

They make it worse though…they kiss me even as I gag and drive heave they laugh and take turns.

My mind snaps and I lose track of time as well as how many times I've been raped. It all runs together…I can't go home…

I can't go home…

I can't go home….

I failed my family….

~*~

I've never know pain like this, the physical agony,…the emotional grief, and the mental horror.

I just want to sleep…to eat…to die…anything but be used again…

I sob as they drag me out of the dark and throw me down. I lay there and struggle to squint through the blinding light.

It burns…the brightness…clean…I am filth….tainted…

My name is no longer Leonardo…I don't deserve it…my name is Fumeiyo now…I have no other name…

I am no one anymore…

Days blur together as they bring me out and make me walk on a leash in front of potential buyers…

I am nothing more than a dog…I'm lower even than that…

I wait day in and day out in my dark room as they argue over a price for me…in the end I am left alone again…alone with my shame and fear.

I'm sorry…

I'm so sorry…

I'm so sorry father…I'm sorry I failed…

I'm sorry Nel….I love you…

I'm sorry Raph…you should have been the leader….you should have told me to leave…you should have let me die…

I grieve for the family I will never know again….the family that would turn on me of they knew. For the father that would cast me out and put Raph in my place.

Seppuku is the only way for me to regain my honor….

The only way is death…

I hover between madness and sanity by a thread. Somehow I cling to it, just barely, I cling to sanity.

But some unknown reason I am forgotten…I know not how long the time I spent in that horrid room was…but I know in the end that whatever might have been left of Hamato Leonardo was gone by the end…

All that remained was Fumeiyo.

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Reviews Please!

Fumeiyo- "dishonor" or "without honor"


	16. Chapter 16:Chains

"**Set Me Free" is owned by CastingCrowns**

**Chapter 16: Chains**

I sit there, in the dark, craving death…anything but this miserable existence.

I am nothing…

_Nothing_

I weep as I start to sing…

_Its hasn't always this way._

_I remember Brighter Days._

_Before the dark ones came…stole my mind…_

_wrapped my soul in chains._

_Now I live among the dead…fighting voices in my head…_

_Hoping someone hears me crying in the night and carries me away…_

_SET ME FREE!_

_Of the chains holding me._

_Is anyone out there hearing me?_

_SET ME FREE!_

_Morning breaks another day_

_Finds me crying in the rain…_

_All alone with my demons I am…_

My song is cut off as they storm in and start beating me.

I'm shoved against the wall and the pain comes again.

I steal myself, fighting the urge to scream.

Then I'm left alone again, my only company the metal pans of scraps and the small amount of water.

I hover there, somewhere between sanity and insanity, still, just barely, clinging to sanity.

Then I'm dragged out of the pitch black into the blinding light.

I huddle there and shiver in the brightness, I'm jerked to my feet and dragged along a corridor, a collar and leash attached as I am lead along.

I am cleaned and then paraded in front of potential buyers. I know better than to speak or fight back.

Only the pain is the reward for such behavior.

In the end I am again in the darkness, the chains attached to my wrists, my ankles, I am chained…in more ways than one now.

~*~

I don't know how long its been but I am again dragged from my dark room, cleaned and shoved into a new room.

It is bright in here, there is a bed, low, but a _bed_.

I remain standing, not daring to move, days pass and I am aware of others coming in and whimpering a few feet from me.

I don't dare move.

Then I feel the prick of a needle and my world swirls into madness.

Fumeiyo has finally snapped.

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	17. Chapter 17: Angel Found

**Chapter 17: Angel Found**

I lay weeping, unable to do anything else.

I am a monster…they made me do to the young women what they did to me…

I have tainted them…

Broke them.

I shutter as someone sits beside me, I weep for them, for what I've done.

"Leh'ya what did they do to you?" I hear a whisper…angelic in its purity.

Nel…she found me somehow.

"Don't touch…me," I choke out, "I'm tainted…"

She kisses my forehead despite my pleas and I sob as she holds me close.

"What did they do to you?" she whispers, "oh Leh'ya."

~*~

Days pass and slowly she heals my broken mind and soul, mends me, supports me,gives me hope again.

We are left alone by the guards.

She learns quickly that I hate being approached from behind, it scares me now, more than I can express in words.

She coaxes me to sleep at her side, tells me that she loves me and won't let me hide from her.

I am her husband, therefore, I am the only person she wants beside her.

Slowly I work up the courage to curl beside her and little by little, my fears ease back and I let myself get more comfortable with her.

I stop fearing and start remembering what love is.

She gives me a chance to be a man again, and I give her everything.

She cradles my broken heart and mends it.

She gives me hope again.

~*~

She's pregnant…I'm to be a father.

We manage to hide it from the guards for quite a while, then, when they find out, she is taken away and I am beaten for my foolishness.

I scream her name…plead for them to let her come back.

I want to know my child.

I want my heart back.

* * *

Reviews Please!!!!!


	18. Chapter 18:Seperation and Death Notes

**Chapter 18: Separation and Death Notes**

In the end I am simply passed around more rooms, drugged, forced to be what they want again.

My mind vanishes when I hear the news…

She's dead…for loving me.

My child is gone, before it was ever born.

I scream for days, lash out, attack anything and anyone.

Hate fuels my pain, grief makes me strong.

I scream and scream, and scream.

~*~

I lose myself in a agonized madness…I stop caring.

For who wants anything but my body anymore.

The raping returns, the molestation starts again.

every time I start to fight back.

They break me again.

They control my soul…my mind.

I am nothing but a curse.

I cursed her…

Because of me…she is dead….

Dead….

I am dead…Leonardo is again gone…

Fumeiyo had returned…

But he never left…I never left…

I am nothing…nothing but dishonor…

Fumeiyo.

I daren't touch anyone….for risk of giving them the same curse I set upon my love.

I kill two of my guards and then find agony within the darkness again…

Dark…why is it always dark?

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Reviews Please!!!


	19. Chapter 19:Stumbling Through Fog

****sorry for the shorter chapters but as I hope you can tell…Leo's kinda gone off the deep end…he's not right in the head right now…so I have to portray his "thoughts" as such and try to make sense…**

**Back to the story now….**

**Chapter 19: Stumbling Through Fog**

I am within clouds…fog…darkness…

Sorrow…fear…anger…sorrow…fear…anger…sorrow…

I drift.

Into darkness….out of fog…

I know nothing…

I am nothing.

Waiting for death…the blade to end it.

Fumeiyo.

Seppuku.

Meiyo.

Seppuku will return my Meiyo….my honor…

Tainted…soiled.

Lost.

Broken…shattered…

Nothing is left…

Hate….agonized grief.

Fog wraps around me…darkness consumes me.

I drift.

In.

Out.

A flickering light…snatched away…

I reach for it…only to fall back into fog and darkness.

Strange how fog attracts me…it hides me…

Darkness is the fear within me…

I stagger under the weight of my dishonor.

I drift.

I fade out.

I am suddenly jerked from my fog and dragged sharply back by pain like I've never known…

I am aware that I am screaming…pleading for them to stop.

I smell stone…water…

Shouts alert me to others around me.

I fade out again…lost in the darkness.

* * *

Reviews Please!!!


	20. Chapter 20:Guardian in the Dark

**Chapter 20: Guardian in the Dark**

I wake in a room, bandages wrap around my battered frame.

I seek out the fog and wait, not daring to move.

I leave what I later learn is the infirmary weeks later back to working.

I don't remember this…this moving of stone.

But I work.

Why not?

I have nothing else to offer.

My grief comes back full force.

Nel…the unborn child…

I weep when I curl tight into the crevice I sleep in. I grieve, I slice my hands and arms against the sharp edges of the rock.

Let me die.

Let me die.

I have nothing.

I am nothing.

Let me die.

~*~

It's two weeks later, when I'm stumbling toward my hole, when I'm grabbed from behind and roughly taken.

Even the men around here know how to use me.

~*~

It continues, gets to the point where as long as they feed me, I let them.

Then…one day my life changes forever.

I see him.

Raph.

After all this time…he found me.

I pull away…not daring to let him touch me.

In the time that I avoid him, my "partner" abuses me further.

My eyes become infected and my sight vanishes.

I am passed around.

I bleed.

They don't care.

I weep.

They don't care.

I plead.

They don't care.

I can't see anymore, my boots are stolen and my feet are ripped to shreds.

My jacket is stolen and I shiver at night.

I daren't attempt to clean myself.

They will only make me filthy again.

I need to feel clean though.

I sob as I stagger toward the river, terrified that I will be roughly grabbed and thrown down.

I make it to the edge of the water and slowly lower myself in, then I get a thought.

It's not seppuku but it is a suicide.

I steel myself for this task.

I will drown myself.

I will restore my family's honor.

As I stumble out into the fast current I whimper as I lose my footing, cry out as I go down.

Someone catches me, cradles me.

A soft crunning fills my ears.

A comforting sound, I am only afraid.

Will he use me too?

Say it is simply payment for the act of rescuing me?

Then I fell him urging me to lean into him and shiver as he continues to cradle me.

Then, I smell, and start sobbing.

It's Raph…oh its Raph.

I weep against him, plead to not be left alone.

Plead to be forgiven.

I barely get the words out.

But he guides me, standing behind.

I sob when the most terrifying thought reaches me.

Will he use me?

I couldn't stand that…I'd die from the shame.

Just kill me, Raph don't do that to me!

I jump as water hit's the back of my legs.

It scares me so bad I try to run away.

I am cradled again.

Then slowly, he cleans me.

Gets rid of the dirt, the grime, the filth.

It stings around my eyes and my other injured areas.

Soap.

He has soap.

I whimper as he washes me.

Makes me clean.

He won't give me my pants back though.

I hear children playing quietly.

I bow my head and fight the terrified trembling.

He is going to do it, in front of children.

His kids?

To show them that he hates me perhaps...that he controls his older brother.

I'm so hungry for contact, someone to care even a little bit…I'm willing to let him.

No matter how much it destroys me.

Perhaps my father will count it as penance for losing my honor in the first place.

I shiver as he bades me to stand, then to my shock he presses pants into my hands and helps me put them on.

Clean pants. Warm pants.

New.

I weep and cling tightly to him, he holds me for a while and then leaves, gently pulling my arms away and leaving.

I silence my sobs, huddle tight, pulling my legs close and hunching over my knees.

He is leaving me…leaving.

At least he cared for a time, cared enough to clothe me, to clean me.

Is it because Master Splinter would've wanted him to?

Most likely.

I sit very still, not daring to move, not daring to find out this is a dream.

Then I jump as something touches my hand, nearly bolt away.

But find him there, holding me, comforting me.

Raph.

Oh Raph…you came back.

He holds me and presses something into my hands.

Shoes?

He…he's giving me shoes?

I feel tears fall as the shoes are put on, first socks, socks that cover my mangled feet, and then shoes to protect them.

He lets me lean against him, holds me tight.

I fall asleep there, relaxing as he comforts me, drifting off.

Then I wake with a start as he whistles, twice.

I tremble a little then hear soft laughter, giggles.

Children.

His kids.

I wait, sure that I will be left alone.

But he comes to me, holds me.

That night I am welcomed, though I can't bear to sleep huddled together as they do.

I rest.

I heal.

My brother is watching over me.

* * *

Reviews Please!!!


	21. Chapter 21:Pulled Away

**Chapter 21: Pulled Away**

After the last few weeks or months I have healed best I can in this hell.

Raph is mute…he scribbled his life story out onto battered pieces of paper.

Rough, sloppy hand writing that was hard to read.

But I read it.

Learned that Gaeh…the little boy that Raph took in, is my son.

I have a son.

I adore him.

He's all I have left of Nel.

They let her bring him to term after all.

I cradle him when I dare.

He is my son, tainted as I am, but still…my son.

Raph has a daughter…a little ball of smiles and gentleness that Raph is deeply proud of.

Aria.

She is Gaeh's best friend. I swear she would rather play with him than any other kid her age.

After I first was brought into Raph's little home, he took me to a doctor.

I was never so scared in my life.

Things got rough between us for a while but those papers healed the pain and the fear between us.

Raph's helped me heal.

I am working now, alongside Raph.

We haul rocks, or Raph does…I just try frantically to keep up.

I'm not built for it, but with Raph's help I've put on some muscle.

I jump as a bell goes off frantically call Raph's name.

He looks at me in confusion and then the bell goes off again.

Buyers.

I push Gaeh behind me and tremble when Raph steps in front of me.

Then my world comes crashing down as Raph's number is called and he is dragged away.

I watch in horror as he is pulled out.

I cry out, desperate not to lose him, he signs to me, pleading that I take care of Aria.

No.

Please no.

My protector.

They'll start hurting me again.

Then he's gone, snatched out of my life.

I grip Gaeh and sob, rocking back and forth before I run back toward the area where we live.

My brother is gone.

* * *

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	22. Chapter 22:Illness

**Chapter 22: Illness**

It hit's the compound three months after Raph is taken.

Slaves are dying left and right.

I refuse to work, keeping Gaeh and Aria out of the compound we hide away in a small cave with Yelgah, the woman that helped us so much.

An old woman, but the kind of woman who'd want for a grandmother. Raph trusted her completely, left Aria with the woman while he worked.

But I know I've caught it…I'm wheezing…blood stains my urine…chest pain has started…

I'm dying like the others…I can only hope that my son and my niece will live. I separate myself from them, sleeping away from them, as days pass the coughing starts, blood soon flecks my cheeks from the force of each cough.

Tears stream down my cheeks, I'll never see my son grow up, I'll have failed Raph again… won't be able to take care of my niece.

When the fever finally hits me, I'm too weak to fight back, coughs wrack my whole body, my ribs crack from the strength of the coughs.

A hand touches my forehead and I shiver, worried that whoever it is will soon follow my fate…

Then to my shock I'm being lifted, carried. My head rests on their shoulder as my body shakes from my attempt not to cough.

"Easy…," I hear…the voice is familiar…so…famil-

~*~

I'm in and out for I don't know how long.

Vaguely aware that I'm warm…wrapped in blankets…I taste clean water as my head is lifted and a…cup…a cup is pressed to my lips.

I cough seconds later…my whole body on fire with pain and fever.

Again I slip in and out, wrapped in warmth…

Where am I?

Gaeh?

Aria?

Yelgeh??

I so weak-…

~*~

I'm standing inside a slave carrier, Yelgeh, my son, and my niece are off to my left.

I'm still sick…my body aches…and cough…I still have a bad cough.

We're escorted off the slave ship and I stand, swaying, in a place all too familiar…Joban's…

My stomach clenches and I bolt as fast I can, away, as far away as I can get. I won't risk making these people sick…

I won't risk killing my friend.

Pain rips through my lungs as I fight to breathe. I see a fence ahead of me and jump it, just barely.

Another fence…I smell the electricity and the death.

I only hit it for a second before something knocks me off.

I'm aware I'm screaming…then I black out.

~*~

I shiver as something touches my head, a whisper, a voice that is familiar…Yelgeh?

I wake up days later, I learn and spot Raph shivering beside me, I curl close as I fight fearful tears.

I can't lose my brother…I can't.

Then he fever breaks later that night and he curls against me, looking like the little brother I remember from my childhood…the brother that would play with me, laugh with me…my best friend…

~*~

We're cured so the kids are allowed to come in.

By some miracle neither of the kids got sick. Gaeh clings to me and cries for a while before he falls asleep, Aria does the same, only to her sleeping father.

Raph wraps an arm around her and hugs her, whimpering a little when moving causes him pain.

I hurt too…but I feel a lot better than before.

Then one day he wakes up and stares at me in confusion, slowly he smiles…

My brother…oh my brother.

He hugs me tight, comforts me, the kids are out playing I told him.

I forget for a time about the shame I carry, about my lack of honor.

Later I try to tell him that I don't deserve my old name, he refuses to think of me as different and writes out _Leonardo_ in bold, black, letters.

Glaring as he shows it to me.

I cry then, weep, but finally feel a little healed.

Not a day goes by that I don't wonder though…will my father make me commit Seppuku in front of my son?

I only hope I can run away from here before Raph drags me home and tries to prevent the inevitable.

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	23. Chapter 23:The Journal

**Chapter 23: The Journal**

**Don's POV**

Sensei's given up.

He declared Leo and Raph dead last night. Eight years of waiting for them to come home…and we finally just give up.

I'm the head of the clan now…the leader.

I can't be Leo…I can't take my brother's place.

I'm in Leo's room right now, sitting on his bed, struggling to work out how, how I'm going to move on.

If I even can.

I fight tears as I curl in Leo's bed, weeping, grieving.

Both of my elder brothers are dead.

I'm so scared.

So lost.

I jump as something clatters to the ground.

I sit up and look down, whipping the tears away as I sniff.

It's a leather bound journal, battered and worn out…but…a journal.

I slowly reach down and lift it up.

This is Leo's…his…his private thoughts…and…and…he's dead…I shouldn't…but he's dead…

I tremble as I open it and a water soaked picture flutters out.

I lift up and then realize that the water stains…are…are from tears…

It's all of us…but Leo…he's not in the picture…he's not there.

I feel an ominous weight settling on my shoulders.

Why would Leo…cry over this picture.

I nervously flip the book open midway through, search for more recent entries and steel myself for what is next.

_October 25th__,_

_Happy birthday to me. Sad when no one else cares isn't it? _

_October 26__th__,_

_Still nothing, nothing but bruises and scrapes from yet another fight with Raph. Another broken rib that I have to hide from my family. Another excuse to why I am so distant._

_Take a beating for failing everyday of your life and then on top of the bruises from my father's cane and hands…getting nearly beaten into unconsciousness by the brother you wish would simply respect the fact that you live. _

_I don't think any of them care anymore though…(tear stains)…they ignore me… they simply hate me._

Don flicked through frantically, going to the beginning and then to his horror reading back to where he had been and further through.

"Oh Leo…what did we do to you," Don sobbed as he let the journal fall to the ground.

It fell open to the last page.

_I'm so sorry I failed…I'll bring him back, then maybe…maybe I can finally end it._

_That I can die knowing I finally did something right…_

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	24. Chapter 24:Old Faces

**Chapter 24: Old Faces**

**Leo's POV**

I've settled into a new pattern, a new life, a new hope.

Nel is pregnant with our second child.

Raph is attempting to avoid the flirtation of a woman. A woman I _know_ he likes.

I can't help but chuckle at his attempts to escape her attentions.

He doesn't trust women though, not after Tehsehle and her attempt to kill Aria.

The surgery that Joban paid for to allow him to speak again, worked, he's been talking. Though in the Teripan language, of which I'm still stumbling through.

I sigh as I rest my forehead against Wyndr's face. The blue roan stallion that I was able to tame for Joban.

Like me this stallion went through much in his young life, much pain.

I smile as he huffs softly, telling me that he trusts me.

After rubbing his forehead I slip out of the stall and latch it.

I head toward Raph who is talking to one of the other field workers. As I approach I feel even more excited then before.

I'm going to be a father again.

I'm going to get to see this child be born, to watch it grow.

By the time I reach him I'm nearly bouncing with excitement. Raph laughs at me as I spill my news.

"Galures," he tells me. (congratulations)

I simply grin and then freeze when I spot Don and Mike.

I didn't want Raph to send that letter, but he did.

He said they deserved to know we were alive.

But I was afraid they'd come and make me go back.

They're here now…and they'll-

I jump as Raph punches Mikey.

Don's shouting in confusion as Raph turns back to me and tells me to go be with Nel, Gaeh, and the coming baby.

"They're still family Raph," I manage weakly.

He just looks at me and then nods.

I turn and nearly sprint away.

I have to, I can't bear to go back there.

I can't.

No matter how much my brothers miss me.

No matter how much I still crave the affirmation of my father.

When I reach Nel and hug her tight as I fight the growing fear within me.

Days later I realize that even though I fear those around me…I am willing to sacrifice my freedom to protect my brothers.

Joban's neighbor claims that he owns Don and Mike and that they are runaways.

I take their place.

I'll never see my second child.

She pleads with me not to do this.

Gaeh runs after me as I am loaded up.

Raph stops him and hugs him tight.

I am sorry my son.

I am so sorry.

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	25. Chapter 25:New York

**Chapter 25: New York**

I'm back…back in a place I never wanted to come back to, my father…Master Splinter…he told me…made me bow. I remember cringing and sobbing, so desperate to receive his love. Begging him not to make me die in front of my family.

Raph dragged me to my feet and we left, despite my shame over those actions, I simply stare at the battered letter Don said was from Master Splinter.

I never read it that night with Joban's neighbor, I haven't opened it yet.

I'm half temped to burn it.

I shutter and slowly open that letter.

_Leonardo,_

_My son._

_Forgive me for everything, for pushing you so hard, for forcing you to live how I did. For taking your dreams and forcing you into a life that I saw, every day, was claiming your heart. Forgive me for beings so desperate to protect you all that I made my son grow up too fast. That I forced you to be something you weren't ready for. _

_My son, forgive an old fool for his wrong doings. Help me…make things right again. If you come home, there will be no retribution, I only ask that in bowing to me, you are telling me that you have forgiven me. _

_If you can't bear to do that…I will understand, despite the pain, I will understand._

_I'm so sorry my son._

_-your father._

Raph walks in as I finish, tears are rolling down my cheeks. I make a choice when he tells me Sensei is dying, that he wants to see us one last time. I'll have to go underground…but I have to tell him…I forgive him.

~*~

I sit back and look at the others around me, they are silent, tears streaming down their cheeks from my tale.

Sobbing softly and giving my scared frame a heartbroken look.

"How…how could you just forgive him like that?" I hear Mikey ask.

"He was my father Mikey…despite his mistakes…he was still my father," I tell him.

The room is silent for a while. Raph's son is curled in his lap, my kids are asleep in the back room.

I have horses to tend to when we go home.

My life is starting over, my family is strong again.

My heart no longer craves to be seen and loved.

I know now, that the chains around my soul…were my own.

I just had to break them.

End.

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